The Pain of Love
by animallvr682
Summary: Draco is in pain...and only knows one way to express it. Set during Goblet of Fire Lots of angst...future yaoi. Dont like dont read!
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

Just a new story that has been bouncing around my head. This is the first of three chapters I have written so far.

Warnings include some suicidal stuff....and future yaoi...stuff.

Please read and review. And, as always, if anyone has a request for a story, send me a private message and I will add you to the list. I working through the requests I have. I have finished two and am currently in the works on a third.

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Chapter 1

Draco was frustrated. He was beyond frustrated. He raked his long fingers through his pale blonde hair as he passed the fire place in the Slytherin common room again. He had been pacing the room for over an hour now and still couldn't think of a solution to his problems.

He knew what the problem was. He was worried. No. He was way past worried. He had been worried before, but never to this extent. He couldn't stand it. The thoughts that were running through his head made him physically sick. For more then one reason.

For over three years he had pretended to hate _him_. He had been awful to _him_, rude, and just plain mean. It was how he should feel. How his father had told him to feel after learning that _he_ was at Hogwart's at the same time as Draco, but not in Slytherin. It was how his friends felt, especially the ones who had parents, like his, who were former Death Eaters.

But it wasn't how he felt. Since the first time he had laid eyes on the dark haired boy, while they stood together and were fitted for their school robes, before he even knew who _he_ was, Draco had felt a pull towards _him_. Something he had never felt for anyone else before or since.

And now he was so worried about _him_ that he was making himself sick. He thought the year before, their third year at Hogwart's, had been bad. When Sirius Black had escaped and it was rumored he was after _him_, Draco spent most of the year with a need to take potions to make himself sleep.

But this. This was worse. He had heard the stories about past Tri-Wizard contestants being seriously injured or even killed. But that was before Dumbledore was headmaster. He thought that with such a powerful man as headmaster of Hogwart's, that _he_ would be safe. But _he_ wasn't. That day, just that morning, he had sat in the stands, cheering along with his friends as they watched the three other contestants get past the dragons. And then it was _his_ turn.

Draco had felt his body tense, his stomach knot, his mind fog as the fear and worry brought him to the point of passing out. He watched as _he_ walked into the arena. He watched as the dragon spit fire at _him_. He watched as the dragon almost crushed _him_, bit _him_, clawed _him_, roasted _him_. His heart had been beating so fast and so hard that he had been clutching his chest from the pain. And all the while his friends had been cheering the dragon on.

When _he_ finally got past the dragon, finally got the egg, and finally got out of the arena, Draco had felt his knees give out and had sat heavily back into his seat. His friends had started at him, asked him what was wrong. As usual, he came up with an excuse on the fly. He told them he was shocked that the dragon had actually lost. That it hadn't killed _him_. It had partly been the truth. He had been so scared that the dragon would win. His hand had trembled as he had pushed back the hair that the wind had tossed into his eyes.

Now he was frustrated. All he wanted to go was to run to _him_. To make sure _he_ was okay. To make sure _he_ wasn't badly injured. ……To hold _him_. That was what he truly wanted. To hold _him_ and make sure _he_ was really still alive. Watching _him_ come so close to death had shaken him badly.

Draco stopped pacing and looked into the fire. He had to do something. He had to do something to make the fear and the worry and the pain stop. He turned from the fire and walked to the stairs that lead to his dorm room. He sighed in relief to find the room empty. He closed the door behind him and knelt in front of the trunk at the foot of his bed. He opened the lid and pulled the fabric away from the right side of the lid. Just underneath was his solution to the pain. It was a temporary solution, but it helped him through the worst of times.

Tucking the item into his pocket, he closed his trunk and left the room. He left the common room and wound through the hallways of the school until he came to an empty bathroom. He slipped inside, being sure no one was around to see him. He locked himself in a stall and knelt on the floor in front of the toilet.

Pulling the straight razor from his pocket, he unfolded the long, sharp blade and watched the sunlight filtering through a nearby window wink off of the silver. Setting the blade on his knees, he rolled back his left sleeve. He felt a tear slide down his cheek as he picked the blade up again.

_He hated feeling this way._

Draco slowly drew the sharp blade over the inside of his arm.

_He hated being so worried for someone he was supposed to hate._

Draco watched as blood welled into the second path of the blade slicing into him.

_He hated feeling powerless to protect _him.

Draco closed his eyes as tears spilled hot over his cheeks.

_He hated the mind numbing fear._

Draco shivered as he drew the blade a fourth time.

_He hated that he loved _him_ so much it hurt._

Draco dropped the blade to the floor. Watched as the silver disappeared into the pool of red. He swayed as his vision turned black.


	2. Chapter 2

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

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Chapter 2

Draco woke feeling hot. His chest felt heavy. His arm was burning.

"Awake now, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco opened his eyes and turned to see Madam Pomfrey sitting in a chair beside his bed. "Why am I here?"

The school nurse smiled softly and put her hand over Draco's. "If you didn't want to end up here, you wouldn't have gone to the bathroom closest to the hospital wing. I appreciate that you heeded the advise I gave you last time this happened and did so."

Draco looked away from the woman. "I don't know why I went there. I don't remember even thinking about it."

"You shouldn't do this to yourself, Draco. I know you worry for _him_. But Dumbledore wouldn't let anything happen to _him_."

Draco's eyes filled with tears again. After the third time he had cut himself, Madam Pomfrey had figured out that every time he did, it was after _he_ had been injured or had a scrape with death. She confronted him with it. He had denied it, but in the end he had broken down and talked to her. She was the only one that knew. And she had sworn to him that she would never tell anyone. He trusted her. And in return, she took care of him whenever he went to far.

"How could Dumbledore have protected _him_ if that dragon had bit _his_ head off? The rules of the tournament state that no one can step in, even if a contestant has a life threatening injury." He looked at her again and she could see the pain clear in his eyes. "How could he have saved _him_?"

"You must trust _him_ to be able to take care of _himself_, Draco. _He_ is a smart, strong boy. You cannot keep doing this to yourself." She brushed his hair away from his face and pressed her hand to his forehead. "You lost a great deal of blood today. I gave you a potion to replenish your blood supply. If I had not thought to check the bathroom on my way back from dinner, it is likely you would have bled to death. I checked it because I had hoped you would go there if you needed to cut yourself again. I knew today would have been especially hard on you."

"Who else knows?"

The woman shook her head and removed her hand. "No one. I brought you here and cleaned you up. I send a house elf to the bathroom to clean up the blood. I put a salve on your arm to stop the bleeding since I know you don't like it when I completely heal the cuts. I told Professor Snape that you came to me sick and that I am keeping you here overnight. Which I am. Along with the blood loss, you have a fever. Were you feeling ill before?"

Draco shook his head. "I don't know. All I've felt today was the fear and worry." He took the woman's hand and gave her a pleading look. "Did _he_ come in after? Was _he_ hurt?"

"_He_ has not come up yet. I gave _him_ a quick look over at the arena after _he_ finished. _He_ has a few cuts and bruises, some minor burns. I told _him he_ could go up to _his_ common room and celebrate as long as _he_ comes in sometime tonight for treatment."

"But_ he's_ okay?"

"_He_ is just fine, Draco."

Draco sat up in the bed and suddenly looked panicked. "_He's_ coming here? Tonight? Madam Pomfrey, you have to let me leave. You have to let me go back to my own room. I cant be here if _he_ is coming here."

"Easy, Draco." She put her hands on his shoulders and eased him onto his back again. She gestured to the side of the bed. "I put you in the back bed and put a privacy screen up for you. When _he_ comes in, _he_ will not see you." She traced a hand gently over Draco's face and brushed away his tears. "Just relax. It might help you to be able to hear _his_ voice."

"_His_ voice." Draco closed his eyes and felt the tears threatening again. "I do want to hear _his_ voice."

Madam Pomfrey looked up as the door to the hospital wing opened. "There _he_ is now. You just relax. I'll have _him_ sit a few beds away so you can hear _him_."

Draco nodded and watched her walk away. His stomach was twitching with nerves. What if _he_ saw him? What if _he_ finds out somehow that he was there? He didn't want anyone to know about his cutting. Only Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and Snape knew that he cut himself. And they had all kept it a secret while trying to figure out why he did it and help him to stop.

"Come over here. Let me take a look at you."

"Sorry it took me so long. They decided to throw a party up there and I couldn't get away till now. Hermione had to yell at everyone about how I needed to get the cuts and burns treated so they don't scar. She can be quite forceful when she sets her mind to it."

Draco closed his eyes and let that voice sooth him. If _he_ could talk, then _he_ really was okay.

"The burns aren't to bad. The one I saw on your back earlier looked like it was going to blister though. Take off your shirt so I can heal you up."

Draco blinked his eyes open when he heard the rustling of fabric that signaled _him_ taking off _his_ shirt. He rolled over as quietly as he could and pulled the fabric of the privacy screen back just enough for him to look through with one eye. The nurse had been wise enough to take the candle that had been at his bedside with her when she walked away. She had known that he would need to see _him_. Without the light, his shadow wouldn't be cast on the screen and give him away.

"Does anything hurt?"

"A few aches. The burns are bothering me a little now that the pain blocker you gave me is wearing off."

Draco swallowed hard when Madam Pomfrey moved out of the way and he got a look at _his_ back. _He_ was bruised, painfully so. _He_ had cuts and scrapes running the length of _his_ back. But it was the burn that spread over _his_ shoulder blades that had the tears spilling from his eyes again. He closed the curtain and laid back down. He couldn't stand to see _him_ hurt.

Draco jumped when he heard _him_ hiss in pain. "That stuff stings."

"Yes it will. But it will heal the burns almost overnight. You should be feeling just fine by morning. Why don't you tell me about your first task while I fix you up."

Draco clawed at the bandage covering the cuts on his arm. He peeled it off and dug his thumb into one of the cuts. When he felt the warm flow of blood trickle down his arm, he shivered from the physical pain and closed his eyes again.

"It was the single most frightening experience of my life. I thought for sure that dragon was going to tear me apart and pick its teeth with my bones."

"But you did very well. And you have only minor injuries. All four of you were injured, some worse then others."

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to be in this tournament. I didn't put my name in the goblet. How can they force me to compete when I didn't enter and didn't want to?"

"Those are the rules. Dumbledore explained them to you. All you can do is prepare as thoroughly as you can and hope for the best."

Draco heard _him_ sigh and he dug harder into the cuts. "I know. I'm trying."

"A lot of people are rooting for you. You have your friends to help you prepare."

"I only had Hermione to help with the first task. Ron was mad at me, wasn't talking to me. He thought I had put my name in and didn't tell him how I did it. We made up tonight though. I guess seeing me almost die made him think twice about me actually wanting to do this stupid contest. And there aren't that many people rooting for me. The Gryffindor's maybe. The Hufflepuff's all hate me because the think I'm trying to take attention away from Cedric. The Ravenclaw's mostly think the same or think that I am trying to bring more attention onto myself. And the Slytherin's have always hated me. Most of the students in the school are walking around with those damn "Potter Stinks" badges."

"Maybe they will change their minds now that they have seen what you had to go through."

"Fat lot of good it will do. People will still hate me. I caught a glimpse of Malfoy as I was leaving the arena. He looked shocked and pissed off that the dragon didn't kill me. I bet he would have loved that. Seeing me torn to shreds."

"You cant always tell what people will think when seeing someone they know in such a dangerous situation. Even if they don't seem to care for them much."

"He hates me. And I don't even really know why. I try to be nice to everyone. No one understands how much it hurts, that people hate me when I have done nothing to deserve it. Malfoy especially. I can think of no other reason for his spite other then the fact that I am friends with Ron and Hermione. His father hates Ron's father and thus Malfoy hates Ron and all his siblings. Hermione is muggle born so of course he hates her. It could be that I'm the one that made Voldemort disappear. According to Ron, most of those that had been followers of Voldemort had been Slytherin's. I just don't know."

"Is there a reason you seem to be so fixated on Malfoy being the worst of those who dislike you?"

"Not really. Just that he is the worst of them. He is constantly insulting me and my friends, saying mean things, being rude, playing nasty tricks. The others just mostly ignore me or sneer at me. I just cant figure it out. Maybe if I knew the reason why he did those things I wouldn't be so confused by it all. But then again, if it were for something I cant change I would still be confused."

Draco could feel his brain turning fuzzy again. He had reopened all four of the cuts on his arm and could feel the pool of blood seeping around the side of his body. He was hoping he would bleed to death before _he_ left and Madam Pomfrey came to check on him. He hated himself more then he ever had at that moment. He had been causing _him_ pain with the things he did.

"Maybe you should try talking to him."

"I've tried. He just insults me and walks away."

"Have you tried talking to him when he is alone?"

"Not really. He always has his goons somewhere around him."

"Well, if you ever catch him alone, try talking to him. Even if he doesn't want to talk, at least you have tried."

"Yeah. I guess."

"You're all done. The salves I put on you should heal the burns and the cuts overnight and heal up some of the bruising. Shower in the morning to wash it off. You can go now."

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey. And thanks for the talk." There was a rustling again as _he_ pulled his shirt back on and stood from the bed.

"Anytime, dear. You know where to find me."

The last thing Draco heard before he let go of the light was _his_ footsteps leaving the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

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Chapter 3

Draco opened his eyes to near darkness. The only light came from the candle on the table beside the bed. The candle that Dumbledore was using for light to read by.

"She told you?"

"If you are referring to Madam Pomfrey, she sent for me when you almost bled to death for what I hear is the second time today." The man didn't lift his eyes from his book as he spoke.

"Why didn't she let me die?"

"Do you want to die, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes."

Dumbledore finally looked over at the boy, his eyes filled with compassion. "Madam Pomfrey isn't the only one who can divine the reason behind your cutting, Draco. Though she did figure it out sooner then I."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Indeed. And therein lies your problem. Emotional pain can build up when one doesn't have an outlet. For most, their outlet is to talk about their pain, to seek assistance. But for you, you let the pain built up until it boils over and the only way you know to ease your suffering it to hurt yourself."

"It helps me. I know you don't approve, but it makes the pain stop, even if it's just for a little while."

"It may seem like cutting yourself helps, but it only makes things worse. You cannot relieve one pain with another."

Draco closed his eyes and turned his head away from Dumbledore. "I just want to be left alone."

The man nodded and folded his hands in his lap. "I have had Madam Pomfrey close the wounds on your arm so that you can not reopen them again. I am also restricting your mail privileges for the next three months. Any package that is sent to you will be opened by myself or Professor Snape first to be sure you do not receive another blade with which to hurt yourself. Professor Snape will also be searching your belongings once a week during this period. If you are in pain, Draco, you may come and speak to me at any time. If I am not available, you can always speak with Madam Pomfrey. We only want to help you."

"I love _him_."

"I know. I also know that you need to find a way to show _him_ you care. You can start by being less disapproving."

Draco paled and looked back at Dumbledore. "I cant."

"You can. You choose to act the way you do towards _him_ to earn the approval of your friends and of your father. But tell me Draco, what matters more to you? The approval of your friends? Or having _him_ return your love?"

"_He_ would never love me."

"You can not know that until you have given _him_ a chance."

"I'm done nothing but be mean to _him_. If I tried to explain, I doubt _he_ would even listen. I cant tell _him_ that I love _him_."

"As I have said, you can. You choose not to. From what Madam Pomfrey told me, _he_ told her tonight that _he_ wishes to speak to you. Try frequenting an area he does, alone, without your friends. Talk to _him_. Or, if you would prefer, I could arrange to have _him_ go to somewhere at an appointed place and time so that you two could talk. You need to do this, Draco. I fear for your health and your sanity if you do not. Your cutting has been growing progressively worse."

"I don't think I can do it."

"You can." Dumbledore stood and patted the boys leg gently. "Within the next week, Draco. I want you to at least try to talk to him."

"I'll try. But I cant guarantee I will succeed."

"You have but to try. Get some sleep, Draco. If you need anything, Madam Pomfrey is in her quarters. Just knock on her door."

He watched as Dumbledore walked away. Looking down at his arm, he was disappointed to see that the cuts he had made were nothing more then faint pink lines. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He was tired. His body still felt heavy. His eyes itched. He rolled onto his side and curled into a ball.

Closing his eyes, he couldn't get the sight of _his_ body out of his mind. Even with the wounds, Draco could clearly see the strength in _him_. The muscles of _his_ arm. The long lean lines of _his_ body. Draco took a deep breath and shivered at the memory of the way the muscles in _his_ back had moved when _he_ had turned slightly to look over _his_ shoulder at Madam Pomfrey.

Draco felt himself growing hard from the visual memory. He shifted his thoughts, turned it into fantasy. He pictured _him_ lying in his bed, _his_ body surrounded by the dark green velvet of his bedding. _He_ was lying on his stomach in his mind. _He_ was completely nude. He imagined himself running his hands over all of those beautiful muscles.

Draco shivered again and trailed his hand down his body, under the waistband of his pants, to take himself in his hand. Ever since the first time he touched himself, it had always been _him_ on his mind. _His_ body lying before him. _His _face looking down at him or up at him. _His_ hands on his body. _His_ lips against his. _His_ warm skin against his own.

Draco moaned softly as he sped up is strokes. His fantasy's were always vivid. The ones he enjoyed most were the ones where he was the one on his back, his legs wrapped around _his_ wrist. The thought of _his_ body moving against his drove him mad with desire.

Turning his face into the pillow, Draco moaned loudly and he came into his hand. As the spasms of the orgasm faded, he cried into the pillow. He loved _him_ so much. So why did it hurt?


	4. Chapter 4

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

Okay so I wrote the first 5 chapters of this in like two days. I posted the first three chapters and anytime I tried to load the next two up it wouldnt let me. ~.~ heh. Well they are loaded now so here they are. Enjoy.

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Chapter 4

Draco's mind was numb. Over the week following his release from the hospital he had been trying to do as Dumbledore asked. He wandered parts of the castle that _he_ and _his_ friends often traveled. But anytime he saw _him_, _his_ friends were always there. A couple of times _he_ had looked over and met Draco's eyes. _He_ looked as if _he_ wanted to say something, but then _his_ friends would turn and see him, tell him to bugger off. So he would leave, following a pithy remark. The last time they had come across each other, Ron had told him to get lost. He had merely turned and left, not bothering to say anything. He had heard the groups confused comments as he walked away.

Now he sat alone in his common room, his knees pulled up to his chest, watching the fire. His friends were across the room playing a game. They had asked him to join, but his mind was elsewhere. For the past week he had been swimming in a haze of fear, worry, and pain. And to top it off, Dumbledore's order had him nervous.

Draco jumped when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Snape standing over him. "A moment of your time, Draco." The man removed his hand and moved to the door leading out of the common room.

Following the man through the halls, Draco couldn't quite make his mind concentrate on anything in particular. "Where are we going?"

"The Headmaster wishes to see you." Snape stopped and turned to look at the boy. "I wish you would tell me what is bothering you, Draco. You haven't been yourself for the last week."

"I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind."

"You haven't found a way to hurt yourself again, have you?"

"No, Sir. Though I have wanted to."

Snape nodded and turned to continue down the hall. He took Draco to a small, empty sitting room on the third floor of the castle. Draco looked around the room. There were two small sitting areas, each made up of a couch and a chair set around a short table, and there were two chairs in front of a fireplace. The furniture was done in shades of green and gray, much like some of the furniture in the Slytherin common room. The walls were the typical stone of the castle. One wall had three large windows looking out over the forest. He had never been in the room before. "Wait here. The Headmaster will join you shortly."

Draco nodded and moved to look out one of the large windows. He looked up at the moon. It was full and the sky was wonderfully clear for the late fall night. He didn't turn when the door opened behind him. Didn't turn when he heard the soft footsteps approaching him. Didn't turn when the friendly hand touched his shoulder.

"How are you feeling, Draco?"

"Lost."

Dumbledore nodded and turned the boy around. He lead him to a large soft sofa and pushed him down to sit, taking a seat in a chair across from him. He waved his hand and a tea service appeared on the table, no doubt sent up by the house elves in the kitchen. "Let's have a cup of tea while we talk." He poured out two cups, added a drop of milk, and passed a cup and saucer to the boy. "Peppermint. Wonderful tea for a cool evening." Dumbledore sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, balancing his saucer on his knee.

"Where are we?"

"One of the staff sitting rooms. Students aren't normally allowed in here. But I thought it a comfortable place for this conversation. It is rarely used as it is a bit out of the way of most of the classrooms."

"What did you want to talk about?" Draco took a sip of his tea and had a dim thought that it tasted lovely before it to was lost in the haze of his mind.

"You have not spoken to _him_ yet."

"Not for lack of trying. Every time I find _him_ while I am alone, _his_ friends are always there."

"Yes, so I have heard. I am pleased that you are trying, at least." Dumbledore took a sip of his tea and watched the boy closely. "Have you thought of what you will say to _him_?"

"No. I have no idea what to say. And yet I want to say so many things. I don't know what I could say that he will believe. What would possibly make him trust anything I say."

"I believe that you will find _him_ to be a rather trusting person. Just tell _him_ how you feel. Answer any question _he_ may ask with truth."

"I'll try."

"Good. _He_ will be joining us here in a few minutes. I want the two of you to have a conversation. Where things will go from there," Dumbledore shrugged elegantly and leaned forward to refill his tea. "Well, no one can know for sure."

"_He's_ coming here? Now? But.."

"There is no point in arguing, Draco. I believe it will be important for both of you to speak to each other in a safe, private environment with no chance of interruption. Once _he_ gets here I will explain that I wish for the two of you to talk things over. And then I will leave. I have asked that the staff leave this room free for my personal use tonight. So the two of you will have as long as you wish to talk. When you are finished, you may simply return to your dormitory."

"Alone? You are going to leave me alone with _him_?"

"I am."

There was a knock at the door and Professor McGonagall stuck her head in. She frowned when she saw Dumbledore sharing tea with Draco Malfoy. "Professor. You asked me to bring Potter down here for you."

"Yes, Minerva, thank you."

She stepped to the side and _he_ walked into the room. _He_ stopped short at seeing Draco and looked to Dumbledore for an answer. "Is there anything else you need, Professor?"

"That will be all, Minerva. You may turn in for the evening if you wish. The three of us are going to share a spot of tea." Dumbledore waved to the only seat available in the small area where they were sitting. The spot on the couch next to Draco. "Please, Harry, have a seat." He poured a third cup of tea and handed it to Harry as _he_ sat on the couch.

"May I ask what this is about, Professor?"

Dumbledore looked over his shoulder to be sure Professor McGonagall had left before turning his attention back to the boys. "I have been hearing increasingly distressing rumors concerning the hostility the two of you seem to have for one another. I have asked you both here in the hopes that the two of you could possibly talk things over and come to an agreement."

"What sort of agreement, Professor?" _He_ took a sip of his tea and settled back into the couch. _His_ eyes occasionally strayed to Draco. The blonde looked pale and worn, tired and a bit sick. His hand was trembling slightly as he lifted his tea to his lips.

"The hostility could have a negative effect on younger students of the school. I do not tolerate negative attitudes among the students. You are all young witches and wizards who have come here to learn. Fighting amongst each other is not uncommon, but what the two of you seem to have going is not as simple as a petty squabble. There seems to been a deep hostility between you. I am hoping that tonight the two of you could have a conversation with one another and try to find some common ground."

"You talked to Madam Pomfrey. Didn't you, Professor?"

"I did. She came to me with concerns." Dumbledore set his empty cup onto the tray and stood. "There is plenty of tea and snacks here for you. I would like the two of you to spend a minimum of an hour together. Talk things over. Talk about random topics. Sit and try to ignore each other. I don't care what you do. But I am going to put a spell on the door that will not allow it to be opened for an hour. The two of you will meet me here once a week to spend an hour in each others company until I am satisfied with the results of the sessions."

"But Professor, I need to work on the next task for the tournament."

"An hour a week should not effect that, Harry. Every Friday evening we will meet here at 8 in the evening. Neither of you need to tell anyone the reason behind your weekly appointments. If needed, I can make an excuse for you." Dumbledore moved to the door and stopped in front of it to look back at the boys. "You're hour will start now." He turned over an hour glass set on a table by the door and walked out. The sound of the lock turning echoed in the room.

For five minutes both of the boys simply sat and sipped their tea. Harry was concerned to see that Draco's hand was still trembling and he looked paler then he had before. "Are you feeling alright, Malfoy? You look sick."

"What do you care?"

Harry shook his head and set his tea down. "I care because you are a person. If you are sick, we should call Professor Dumbledore back and have this wait until you feel better. I have been wanting to talk to you, but it can wait if you aren't feeling well."

"I'm fine. What did you want to talk to me about?" Draco took another sip of his tea and then set it down to refill the cup. He refilled Harry's as well and handed it to _him_ when he sat back.

Harry blinked at the cup Draco handed _him_. It was completely unlike him. "Thank you." _He_ sat and watched Draco for a moment, wondering what was wrong with him. "There are some questions I have wanted to ask you. But I've never found a time to ask them."

"Your friends or mine, someone else is usually around and the things we need to say are best said in private."

"Yes. That is it exactly. You have things to say to me as well?"

"I do. But you go first. Ask what you want to know."

Harry set his cup down again and leaned _his_ elbows on _his_ knees, looking at the floor. "What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

Draco's jumped and he sloshed tea over his hand. Sighing, he set the cup down and rose to pace the room. "I don't hate you."

"Then why do you say the things you do."

"Because I am supposed to hate you." Draco stopped in front of the windows again and laid his head against the cool glass.

"I don't know what that means."

"I don't either. It is what my father expects of me."

"You're father expects you to hate someone for no reason?"

"He has his reasons. Most of which he doesn't share with me." Draco turned and went back to sit down next to _him_. "You defeated the dark lord. You're friends with mudbloods and disgraced wizard families. Take your pick."

Harry gritted his teeth. "Don't say that word. It's foul. Hermione is not a mudblood."

"I'm sorry. I'm only quoting my father. It is expected of me to have the same beliefs he does."

Harry blinked at him again. He actually apologized? "You don't though do you? "

"If you ever tell anyone the things I say to you, I will kill you Potter."

"I wont tell anyone, Malfoy. Anything said in this room will stay in this room."

"Agreed."

"Shall we shake on it?"

Draco looked over to see Harry holding _his_ hand out to him. He took the hand, feeling his stomach twitch nervously at the fact the he was touching _him_. When Harry took _his_ hand back, Draco dropped his into his lap and slumped back into the couch. "No. I don't share his beliefs. While she may be a bit annoying, Hermione is a brilliant witch. The fact that she is a mud…" Draco closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm sorry. The fact that she is muggle born doesn't effect her magic. I have nothing against muggle borns. If they can do magic, they should be welcome. But that isn't the way my family thinks."

"You shouldn't let your family effect how you are."

"You don't know my family. We're pure blood. My father, my mother, my relatives. They all believe that unless you are pure blood you don't have a right to be called a witch or wizard or to be taught to use magic. If I were to express how I really feel, my father would disown me. My entire family would disown me."

"They don't deserve to be called your family if they wouldn't support you despite you having different beliefs."

"It is what it is. I cant change my family anymore then the muggle borns can change theirs."

"So if you believe that, why are you always making the comments you do?"

"It is expected of me. I don't do it because I want to. But if I didn't, it would get back to my father. I would rather look like an idiot here at school then have to face my fathers wrath."

"He hurts you. Doesn't he?"

Draco pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "Sometimes. I don't want to talk about that."

"Okay." Harry turned on the couch and put his back to the arm. He picked his tea up off the table along with a scone and settled back so he could face Draco. "What was the thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I want to apologize to you, for the things I say. I don't mean them. I don't wish you any harm. I wouldn't say them if I had a choice. You don't know how bad my father can be when he is angry."

"I understand the need to make yourself as invisible as possible. My Aunt and Uncle have a habit of punishing me anytime the even see me. So I avoid them as often as I can. I don't blame you for doing something you don't want to so you can avoid being hurt."

"There are different kinds of pain." Draco looked away from Harry and laid his cheek against his knees. "If I don't do it, my father will beat me. When I do say those things, I hurt myself. Because I don't want to say them. And I know I cause others pain when I do."

"Maybe you could just, not say them as often. Since I know the truth, you could just pick on me."

"I hate saying those things to you most of all." Draco spoke the words so softly Harry could barely hear them. He tightened his arms around his knees and pressed his face against his arm, trying to hide the tears that had begun to sting his eyes.

"Draco. Look at me, please." When the boy didn't move, Harry set _his_ tea down and placed _his_ hand on Draco's head. He was trembling. A fine vibration was running through his entire body. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I don't feel well. It's nothing." But it wasn't. His heart ached. His stomach was tired in knots. His body wanted to melt against the one he felt hovering so close to him. He wanted to turn his head and let the hand gently touching his hair touch his face, brush against his lips. But most of all, he wanted to open his mouth and say those three words he most wanted to say.

Harry slid his hand around to Draco's forehead and frowned. "You have a fever. How long have you felt sick?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter." He wiped his face on his sleeve and let his feet fall to the floor. "I'll go see Madam Pomfrey when we can leave."

"You're bleeding."

"What?" Draco looked down at his arm. There was blood seeping through his shirt. Which meant it was also seeping through the bandage he had wrapped around the fresh cuts he had made that afternoon.

"Let me see." Harry grabbed his arm and pushed up his sleeve.

"No. Don't." Draco tried to pull his arm back but Harry held his wrist in a tight grip and he felt to weak to pull away.

"How did you hurt yourself?" Harry pulled off the bandage and hissed at the three straight lines across the inside of Draco's forearm. He looked up into the boys blue eyes to find them shiny with unshed tears. "Did you do this to yourself?"

"I had to. I haven't been able to think straight since I watched that dragon almost kill you. It scared me. I don't do well with fear."

"Why would it scare you? Me dying would solve a bunch of your problems." Harry picked up some of the napkins on the tea tray and pressed them to the wounds on Draco's arm. They were slowly seeping blood. Not much, but it was still bleeding.

"You dying wouldn't help me. It would only make what I feel that much worse."

"What you feel?"

Draco shook his head. "Never mind."

"Come on. The hour is up. I'll take you to the hospital wing."

"No. We shouldn't be seen together."

"Shut up, Malfoy. The hospital wing is close by. I doubt anyone will be in the halls between here and there and you look like you're about to pass out." Harry stood and put an arm around Draco. He pulled him to his feet where the boy swayed a bit before settling into a standing position.

"I'm dizzy."

"I can tell. Just lean on me. I'll get you there."


	5. Chapter 5

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

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Chapter 5

Draco stared at the ceiling of the hospital wing and wished he really could become invisible. Harry was sitting on the next bed over. Madam Pomfrey was busy fussing over his arm. Dumbledore was sitting in a chair next to the bed, his legs crossed, a serious look in his eyes. And Snape was standing at the end of the bed. Looking decidedly pissed off.

"You lied to me. I asked you if you had been hurting yourself and you lied right to my face."

"What was I supposed to say?"

"The truth. We cannot help you if you insist on hiding things and lying." Snape turned around and pointed at Harry while his eyes were on Dumbledore. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"_He_ found me in the corridor and brought me here. _He_ is free to leave anytime _he _wants to." Draco pulled his arm away from Madam Pomfrey when she began rubbing salve into the cuts again. "Leave it. Please."

"Let her heal you, Draco." Dumbledore looked over at Harry and nodded his head. "Thank you for bringing Mr. Malfoy here." He turned his head to Snape and nodded to him as well. "You may leave Severus. I have some things I wish to speak to Draco about."

Snape approached Dumbledore and bent to speak into his ear. "If this doesn't stop, Albus, we will need to contact his father."

"That will not be necessary. Go now, Severus. I will speak with you tomorrow." Snape spun on his heel and stormed out of the hospital. Dumbledore turned to look at Harry. "Come sit over here beside Draco so that I can see you, Harry."

Harry moved to sit on the foot of Draco's bed. The blonde was still staring at the ceiling. "I can leave, Professor, if you think it's best."

"How did your hour go? Did the two of you talk things over?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Good, good." Dumbledore turned to Draco. "Where did you get the blade this time?"

Draco flinched. "I stole it."

"From where?"

"Potions class. I slipped it in my sleeve after I cut my ingredients."

"Where is the blade now?"

Draco gritted his teeth. "In my trunk. Hidden under a flap of material in the lid."

"Your belongings and mail are being searched regularly for a reason, Draco. You cannot keep doing this to yourself. Why did you do it this time?"

"You know why."

"Same as last week?"

"Not quite. But along the same lines. I didn't go as far this time."

"No you did not. But you still should not have done it."

"Do you do this often, then?" Draco's eyes turned to Harry when he spoke.

"Sometimes."

"Why?"

Draco turned his eyes away. "I have my reasons."

"There could be no reason good enough to cut yourself."

"It ties into our conversation."

"You physically harm yourself because you don't like the things you say to people?"

"Not all people really. One in particular."

"Why would the things you say to one bother you more then the things you say to everyone else?"

"I have my reasons, okay? Stop asking me questions. I don't want to talk anymore today."

"Draco. When was the last time you ate something?" Madam Pomfrey had been busy with other things besides healing his arm. She had been giving him a look over to see why he felt so ill.

"I don't remember."

"Sometime today? Sometimes in the last few days?"

"Breakfast on Wednesday I think."

"So you haven't eaten in over two days? No wonder you are feeling ill." She put a cool cloth over Draco's forehead. "I want you to eat something. And I want you to stay here tonight so I can make sure you don't get any sicker."

"I want to go back to my own room."

"You will be staying the night here, Draco, and for the rest of the weekend." Draco turned angry and tired eyes to Dumbledore as he spoke. "This time it will just be for the weekend. But if we find you have hurt yourself again, it will be for a full week. If it happens again after that, I will be forced to contact your father and have you suspended from school."

"Please. Don't tell my father." Draco's eyes were panicked as he reached out and grabbed the sleeve of Dumbledore's robe. "Please. He'll kill me if he knew."

"Now, now, Draco. Your father would do no such thing. If you want to prevent your father from knowing, you need to stop this self destructive behavior. You need to find another outlet for your pain."

"Does not eating count?"

"Draco. Harming yourself in any way does not count. Refusing to eat is a form of harming yourself. You need to find something to do with your spare time."

"Such as what? My friends are thick headed pigs who would rather play games and stuff their faces all day then have a stimulating conversation or even to study. If I want to study I have to do it on my own. What do you suggest I do? Take up knitting?"

"We could meet more then once a week. We could…I dunno. Talk. Or study. As long as I have time to work on the next task for the tournament." Harry shrugged when Dumbledore looked at him. "I don't mind. We had a good conversation."

"Would that be acceptable to you, Draco? To meet with Harry more then once a week?"

"It could help. Can we talk about it later? I'm tired." Draco rolled over, putting his back to Dumbledore and Harry.

"Of course." Dumbledore rose and motioned for Harry to join him. "Get some sleep Draco, I will come talk to you again in the morning." Dumbledore left the hospital wing with Harry on his heels. When they walked a ways down the corridor, he spoke as he walked. "Are you sure you want to meet with him more then once a week?"

"I am. I think he needs someone to talk to that isn't a Slytherin. He seems to be in a lot of pain."

"He is in a great deal of pain." Dumbledore stopped at the end of the corridor and turned to face Harry. "There is something you need to know, Harry, if you plan on meeting with him more often."

"I already know, Professor. He's in love with me, isn't he?"

"Indeed. Did he tell you?"

Harry shook _his_ head. "Not straight out. Just certain things he said during our conversation. The way he would look at me for part of what he said and avoid looking into my eyes for another. He said in there that there is one person in particular who he hates hurting. I just figured it was me with other things he had said."

"Yes. He is indeed in love with you. If it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't meet with him more then the once a week I asked for."

"You said he did this last week. It was just after the dragon, wasn't it?" When Dumbledore nodded _he_ asked, "How bad was it?"

"He cut himself deeply. He would have bled to death had Madam Pomfrey not discovered him in the nearby bathroom. She bandaged him up because Draco likes to wear the proof of his pain. Later that night, when you went into the hospital to have your wounds treated, he heard the things you said to Madam Pomfrey. It upset him greatly. He tore off his bandages and reopened the wounds with his fingers. By the time you left and Madam Pomfrey checked on him, he had almost bled to death again."

"All because of me?"

"No. Because of his hidden affection for you. Because he cannot say the things he wishes to say. Because he is to afraid of his father to be the man he really is. It all builds up inside of him because he is to proud to talk to anyone unless he is on his back in a hospital bed after taking his cutting to far. He seemed able to talk to you tonight, even if it was for a short time. If you really wish to spend time with him more then once a week, I would be grateful."

"I meant what I said. The fact that he has feelings for me, well, it doesn't bother me. In a twisted way, I have always had feelings for him as well. I guess because I could always see the pain in his eyes anytime he said those horrible things to me or my friends. I had always hoped that he hadn't meant them. Now I know that he really doesn't."

"How often would you like to meet?"

"I don't know. Would it be okay to see him again on Monday evening? Then I could talk to him about how often we should meet. I don't want to make the decision without consulting him."

"That will be fine. I will arrange it. But you should get to bed now. It is getting late." Dumbledore squeezed the boys shoulder before he continued down the hall towards his office.

Harry turned back and looked down the hall towards the hospital. _He_ felt an overwhelming sadness for what had been going on with Draco. _He_ only hoped that _he_ could do something to ease his pain.


	6. Chapter 6

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

Finally adding a new chapter. I've been writing a lot lately. I'm already working on the next chapter of this. Hope you all enjoy. As always...read and review!

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Chapter 6

When Monday evening came around, Draco was curled up in a chair in front of the fire place of the sitting room. Dumbledore had come and gone to make sure Draco was there and to have tea and snacks sent up for the boys. Draco had been waiting alone for twenty minutes before the door opened again and Harry walked in.

Harry closed the door behind _him_ and paused to turn the hourglass as Dumbledore had instructed. The lock clicked on the door as _he_ set the hourglass down. Their required hour had begun. But Dumbledore had said that they could take all the time they wanted as long as they were in their own beds by morning.

Draco turned to look at Harry as _he_ handed him a teacup. "Thanks."

Harry nodded and sat in the other chair facing the fire. "You look better. Did you get enough rest in the hospital."

Draco sneered. "I hate being in the hospital."

"If you took better care of yourself there would be no need to go there." _He_ shrugged when Draco gave him an annoyed look. "I'm only saying what you know is true. Did you eat today?"

"Are you my sitter now, Potter?"

"No, Malfoy. But I would like to be your friend. If you will let me. And friends take care of each other. I'm worried about you."

"Yes. I did eat today. All three meals. No, I didn't cut myself today. I didn't harm myself in any way." He put his feet on the floor and help the cup and saucer in his lap. "Though I did feel like it several times."

"Why did you want to hurt yourself?"

"I have my reasons."

"Yes. So you have said." Harry sipped his tea and turned his eyes to the fire. "I wont pry if you don't want to talk about it. So what shall we talk about? Or should we study for the charms test we have on Friday? I brought my books."

"I don't want to study. I want a piece of that pumpkin bread." Draco stood and moved to sit on the couch. He cut a slice of the pumpkin bread and was spreading butter on it when Harry sat on the couch next to him. "Do you want a piece?" Draco offered the plate to Harry and cut another slice for himself.

"Are we gonna sit here and eat all the snacks for an hour and do nothing else?"

"Would that be so bad? At least the company is good." Draco looked over when Harry set _his_ plate down and put _his_ hands on his shoulders. "What?"

"There is always another alternative." _He_ leaned forward and pressed _his_ lips to Draco's.

Draco's eyes widened at the completely unexpected action. When those soft lips pressed harder against his own, Draco moaned softly and kissed _him_ back. He had to be dreaming. Nothing this good ever happened to him.

Harry's hands slid up to cup Draco's face as _he_ slowly pulled away. "Feel better?"

Draco frowned. "What did you do that for?"

"I wanted to. It felt good didn't it?" _He_ brushed a thumb over Draco's bottom lips and smiled when the boy shivered.

"Why did you do that, Harry?" As much as he hated to do it, Draco pulled back, letting the hands fall away from his face.

"I told you. Because I wanted to."

"But why? I've haven't done anything but be mean to you since the day we met. Why would you want to kiss me?"

Harry sat back and sighed. "I have always felt drawn to you. I cant explain why. Maybe something I saw in your eyes. Maybe just pure physical attraction. I don't know. But after our conversation yesterday, I realized that you aren't the nasty person you make yourself out to be. It's merely a mask you wear to protect yourself. I also realized, that if you didn't like me at least a little bit, you wouldn't have trusted me with that information."

"Who told you?" Draco grit his teeth. Whoever it was that had told _him_, he would kill that person.

"Told me what?"

Draco stood and paced to the windows. "I wanted to be the one to tell you, when the time was right. Who told you?"

"Draco, no one told me anything. I don't know what your talking about. I wouldn't lie to you."

He turned to look into those soft green eyes. _He_ wasn't lying. Draco could see it there. "You don't know then?"

"Know what?" Harry stood and moved to stand in front of him at the window.

Draco turned to look out the window but could only see his reflection. "I love you, Harry. I have for a long time. I try not to. But I learned that it isn't something I can just stop doing, no matter how hard I try." He crossed his arms over his stomach and turned to move away from the other boy. "I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable."

Harry took Draco's hands in _his_ as he tried to move away. "Draco. I love you, too."

Draco laughed softly. "Now I know I'm dreaming."

Harry turned him around and took his face in _his_ hands. "Does this feel like a dream?" _He_ pressed _his_ lips to the other boys again and kissed him passionately. This wasn't the almost chaste touching of lips that _he_ had given him before. This was passionate, and it made Draco's knees go weak. Harry put _his_ arms around him and held him close, their bodies pressed tightly together. _He_ pulled away slowly and looked down into cloudy blue eyes. "Does it?"

Draco blinked and tried to focus. His mind was fogged and he couldn't quite concentrate. "I don't know. It doesn't really feel like a dream. But it has to be. This couldn't actually be happening to me."

"I was attracted to you the first moment I saw you. In the robe shop. Do you remember?" When Draco nodded, _ he_ continued. "You were so confident of yourself. So strong. So in control. It's what I wanted for myself at that time. To be stronger. And I saw that in you then. And on top of all that strength, you were beautiful."

"I've always been so mean to you, Harry. How can you be doing this to me now? Is it payback? For everything I've done?" He closed his eyes and leaned his body away from _his_. "If it is, I'll understand."

"The things you say hurt me, Draco." When the other boy tried to pull away at _his_ words, _he_ tightened _his_ grip on him and kept him in place. "But I could always see the pain in your eyes when you said them. I doubt anyone else would notice. But I watch you sometimes. I've seen you happy. I've seen you angry. I've seen the look on your face when you are teasing your friends. But when you say hurtful things, your face may look happy, or smug, but the feeling doesn't reach your eyes. It has both confused and intrigued me. But it hasn't made me any less attracted to you."

"How can you be so nice to me?"

"Because I have no reason to be otherwise. Now are you going to keep talking?"

Draco frowned. "Why not?"

Harry smiled and ran his lips over Draco's forehead. "Because I can think of something better to do."

Draco swallowed hard. "Like what?"

_He_ grinned and ran _his_ hands down the thin line of Draco's body until they rose over the swell of his ass. "How about getting you naked?"

Draco shivered and felt himself grow instantly hard. He has spent so much time dreaming of what it would be like to have _his_ hands on his body. But he had never imagined that _he_ would be so forward. Draco frowned and pulled away again. "You've had other lovers, haven't you?"

"Is that a problem?" _He_ leaned forward to kiss Draco again but he pulled away sharply. Harry watched as pain and disbelief filled his eyes and overflowed as tears. "Oh, Draco. I'm so sorry. If I had known how you really feel about me I would have done things differently. Can you honestly tell me you didn't expect that I had been with someone? What about you? I've seen some of the people who hang on you like you are their god."

Draco clenched his jaw and stepped out of Harry's arms. "I've never let anyone touch me. I've never wanted anyone but you to touch me." His breath caught as he had a sudden visual of Harry's body with other people hands touching _him_. Harry reached for him, _his_ eyes confused. He backed up again. "I cant do this right now. I'm sorry."

"Draco wait." But it was to late. Draco was running for the door. _He_ knew their time was over, the door would open. And _he_ watched as Draco pulled it open and disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

Yay another chapter...more angst...but I love it. I'll write more tomorrow. For now, I am goin to bed. Enjoy. And as always...read and review. And if anyone has requests...feel free so send me a private message and I will see what I can do about writing a story for you!

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Chapter 7

He ran. He didn't know where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to run. Tears streamed down his face as he turned another corner and ran up the stairs he came to. The need to scream was building inside of him. If he didn't find a way to rid himself of this pain he was going to explode. He turned another corner and ran straight into Dumbledore's arms.

Dumbledore caught the boy as he ran around the corner and pulled him against him as he sat against the wall. Draco struggled, trying to get away so he could run again. Dumbledore put his hand on the back of the boys head and pressed it to his chest. "Shh. It's alright, Draco. Calm down."

"It's not alright. It's not alright. Nothing will even be alright again." He tried to pull away but the man held him tightly and refused to let him go.

"Shh." Dumbledore rocked the boy in his arms and felt a tear slide down his own face. He felt the boys pain. He had ran from his office as soon at the painting he had watching the boys came and reported what had happened. He had known Draco would run, and would likely have hurt himself if he hadn't found him. Draco's struggling calmed and he started to sob. Dumbledore stood with the boy in his arms and turned back towards his office. "It will be alright, Draco. I promise you."

Draco shivered and clung to the front of Dumbledore's robes. "Please. Just let me die."

"You aren't going to die." Dumbledore stopped in front of the statue that guarded the stairs to his office and muttered the password. As he climbed the stairs, he held the crying boy tightly and tried to think of what he could do to help him. He walked through his office and entered his private quarters. Students were never allowed in here, but Dumbledore knew he would be needing to give Draco a level of care that required a more personal setting. Dumbledore sat in his oversized stuffed rocking chair that faced the windows of his tower. It was his favorite spot. The windows looked out over a perfect view. The forest on the right, the lake on the left. He rocked with Draco in his arms as the boy continued to cry.

"I want to die."

"I know. Talk to me. Tell me what happened."

"_He_ told me _he_ loves me."

"That is wonderful, Draco. Now tell me what has you so upset."

Draco took a shaking breath and turned his face into Dumbledore's shoulder. "_He_ has had other lovers."

"Oh, Draco. You should not let something so small cause you to be so upset. _He_ loves you. That is all that should matter."

"I've saved myself for _him_. I didn't want anyone else's hands on my body." He curled his body up into a tighter ball. "I cant stand the thought of someone else having touched _him_."

"Believe it or not, Draco, but I know how you feel. It was the same way for me and my first lover. He was experienced, but I had saved myself until I found someone special. And it bothered me to at first, when he told me. But in the end, I let that go. And we were together for a long time."

"I cant let it go. _He_ says that _he_ loves me, that _he_ has been attracted to me since _he_ first saw me, just as I was with _him_. How could _he_ say _he_ has loved me when _he_ has let someone else touch _him_ during that time?"

"Think about it from _his_ eye, Draco. _He_ was attracted to you, had feelings for you. But how have you acted towards _him_? _He_ had no way of knowing that what _he_ felt for you was returned. So _he_ sought feeling with someone else. If _he_ cared for whoever it was _he_ was with, _he_ wouldn't have told you _he_ loves you."

"_He_ kissed me. _He_ said _he_ wanted to get me out of my clothes. The way _he_ was acting, I just knew. I knew _he_ had been with someone else. I asked _him_ and _he_ asked if it bothered me." Draco had to stop talking. He was crying again. Dumbledore continued to rock him and waited for him to get out the rest of what he needed to say. "It bothers me. It bother me a lot, Dumbledore. I cant handle this. I cant."

"You can. You just need to relax. Really think about it. What is more important to you? The fact that _he_ has been with someone else? Or the fact that _he_ loves you and wants to be with you?"

"I want to be with _him_. I do. But I cant handle this. Someone else has touched _him_. Someone else has felt _his_ body against theirs. I've dreamed about being with _him_ for so long. I wanted us to be each others first."

"We cant always get everything that we want, Draco. You can have _him_. Don't let your pain over what you cant have cloud your mind about what it is that is being offered to you." Dumbledore put his hand on the boys head and tilted his face up until he was looking into his eyes. "_He_ loves you." Draco's eyes filled with tears again as he watched. "_He_ wants you. Don't lose _him_ now that you have _him_."

"I want to die." Draco pulled his head out of Dumbledore's grip and laid it against the mans shoulder again. "I just want the pain to stop."

"You need to sleep and let your mind rest. Tomorrow, you will be calmer. And we will talk more."

"I don't want to go back to my dormitory."

"You don't have to. You can sleep my couch if you wish. I will be here all night if you need me."

"Okay." He wanted to curl up on the couch, but he didn't want to move. It had been so long since anyone had held him. His father had never held him. And his mother had stopped at the demand of his father when he had been three. It felt so good to just let someone comfort him.

Dumbledore smiled as the boy shifted and settled himself more firmly in his arms. He was 14, and to big to really be comfortable laying across someone's lap. But Dumbledore could feel Draco's need coming off of him in waves. He needed to be comforted. It was being offered by someone he trusted and he wasn't going to leave that comfort until he was ready. Dumbledore didn't mind.

After about ten minutes, Draco was asleep. Dumbledore stood carefully and laid the boy on the couch on the other side of the room. Pulling the blanket off the back of the couch, he covered Draco and silently left the room and headed back into his office. Minerva had looked into the doorway of his sitting room while he had been rocking Draco to sleep. She had backed away when she saw that he was busy and he wasn't surprised to see her sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"What is going on, Albus? Potter just came to me practically hysterical. _He_ said that Malfoy had run off and _he_ was afraid _he_ was going to hurt himself again. Since when has Malfoy ever hurt himself?"

Dumbledore sighed and settled into the chair behind his desk. "Draco has been cutting himself for sometime now. Only myself, Madam Pomfrey, and Severus know of this." He waved his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And Potter. But only because _he_ brought Draco to the hospital wing after he almost passed out from fever, hunger, and blood loss after the last time it happened."

"Alright. So Malfoy has problems. Why is Potter so hysterical and why were you up there rocking Malfoy like he was a child?"

"Because he is a child. And he was sorely in need of comfort. The rest, I'm afraid, is not something I can share at this time. But I will say that I have asked Harry and Draco to try and work out their differences. Draco may not seem it, but he is a very sensitive boy. He is in a lot of pain right now. I have some work I need to do. If you would, please find Severus and inform him that Draco will be staying in my care for tonight. And tell Harry and Draco is alright. And that I would like to speak with _him_ tonight before _he_ turns in. Tell _him_ the password, _he_ can come here alone."

"I don't like this, Albus. That Malfoy boy is bad through and through. You know how his father is. And that boy is just like his father." Minerva stood and clasped her hands in front of her.

"That is where you are wrong. But it is a conversation for another day. Please find Potter for me and give my message to Severus."

"Alright. But I hope you know what you are doing, Albus." Minerva turned and left the office.

Dumbledore went to work on some paperwork he needed to finish. He sent one of the portraits in his office into the sitting room to keep an eye on Draco. He was very worried about the boys state of mind. His world had been rocked twice in the same night. First by getting what he had been dreaming of, his love. Then, by learning that his love had given _his_ body to another. He hadn't known that Harry had had other lovers. If he had, he would have warned Harry to be gentle when _he_ told Draco. But it didn't matter now. Now he just had to figure out how to see Draco through this.

A knock on the door brought Dumbledore's head up. The door opened and Harry stepped into the office. _He_ walked quickly to the desk and stopped in front of the polished wood. _He_ wrung _his_ shirt in _his_ hands. "I cant find him. He just ran off. He was so upset. What if he hurts himself?"

"Harry calm down. Draco is fine. He is asleep on my couch. Didn't Minerva tell you?" Dumbledore sat forward and put his elbows on his desk.

Harry sighed in relief and sat down in the chair Minerva had been sitting in. "She said that he's okay. But she wouldn't tell me how she knew. Just told me to come here. Did he hurt himself?"

"No. I found him running through the halls and brought him here. He was very upset. He told me what happened, Harry."

All of the color drained from Harry's face and _he_ slumped in the chair. "I told him I love him. I kissed him." _He_ sighed and put _his_ hand over _his_ face. "He asked me if I had been with someone else. I couldn't lie to him."

"It was the right decision to not lie to him. But you should have found a more gentle way to tell him."

"I didn't know it would matter so much. I honestly believed that he had been with someone else, too. Why wouldn't he have? He's beautiful, he's popular, he has people that follow him around like he is god."

"He was saving himself for the one he loves."

Harry groaned. "What am I supposed to say to that? I love him too, but I didn't wait for him because I didn't think he would want me? How do I tell him that without making him feel worse?"

"The truth is the truth. It will hurt him, yes. But you need to make him see that it doesn't mean you don't want him, or that you don't love him any less."

"It means I'm not as strong as he is. I gave up on thinking I could be with him because I thought there was something wrong with me, something he didn't like that made him dislike me so much. So I gave in to others when I should have simply talked to him."

"How many others?"

Harry blushed and squirmed in _his_ chair. "Three. I didn't love any of them. I just had sex with them because I was lonely and they offered it."

"I understand. But loneliness isn't a very good reason to be intimate with someone, Harry. It may feel good, and ease the loneliness for a time. But afterwards, it will always leave you feeling empty."

"I know. I shouldn't have done it. But at the time it happened, I was in a difficult place. I really needed someone, even if it were a short time. After it was over, I realized that it wasn't a one night thing I need, or even want. I wanted to be with the person I have been harboring feelings for, for over three years. I wanted Draco."

"That is what you say to him. But you say it in a way that lets him know how happy you are to finally be with him. Don't let him feel that it is his fault that you were with those other boys. Because he is blaming himself."

"It wasn't his fault. And I didn't say I was with other guys. All three of them were girls."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap. "Well. That may change things. I thought you were gay. Since you seem to be in love with Draco."

"I am gay. Like I said, I was in a difficult place. I needed something and they offered me what I thought I needed. There were guys that offered, too. But I turned them down. I didn't want to be with another guy if it wasn't Draco."

Dumbledore smiled. "I think you just found what to say to him. I think knowing that you haven't been with another boy will help to ease his pain. Being with another man is very different from being with a woman, Harry."

"Albus. The boy is stirring. I believe he is having a nightmare."

Dumbledore looked up at the portrait that spoke to him and nodded as he stood from his chair. "Thank you." He turned to Harry, who had also stood at the portraits words. "You should go to bed Harry. Come back tomorrow after lunch. I should have him ready to speak to you by then." Dumbledore walked around the desk and laid his hands on Harry's shoulders. "Go to bed. Get some sleep. Tomorrow I want you to think carefully about how to tell Draco everything you have just told me. I will make sure he is ready to listen to you."

Harry's eyes were fixed on the open door at the top of the short flight of stairs at the back of the room. "Take care of him. Make sure he doesn't hurt himself before I have a chance to explain things. I cant stand the thought of him hurting himself because of me again." Harry looked up at Dumbledore to find him smiling. "Please."

"I will take care of him. Don't worry about that. Now go." He turned the boy around and pushed _him_ gently towards the doors. Once Harry had shut the door behind _him_, Dumbledore turned and walked back to his sitting room. He spent the rest of the night sitting in his chair watching over the boy fitfully sleeping on his couch.


	8. Chapter 8

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

* * *

Dumbledore sat in his chair and watched Draco pace in front of the windows of his sitting room. He had calmed after sleeping, somewhat. He wasn't crying anymore. But he was still upset. And right this moment he was very nervous.

"I don't want to see him."

"Yes, you do. And you need to hear what he has to say. It's important, Draco. I believe that once you hear him out, it will help you work through this."

"Nothing he can say will make me feel better about the fact that he has been with someone else. Nothing could make that better, Dumbledore." Draco stopped pacing and turned angry eyes to the man sitting before him. "I don't want to hear it. Not now. Not ever." He turned back to the windows and looked down towards the ground, so far away. "I want to jump out of this window and just let it all end."

"The windows are spelled. You cannot open them or break them. So you can stop that line of thinking right now. Hurting yourself will solve nothing. Harry loves you. If you hurt yourself, how do you think it will make him feel?"

"I don't much care right now."

"Of course you do. You care very much. And that is your problem. Stop thinking of only your own pain and think about his in this situation. Do you think he enjoys that what he has done hurts you? He came here last night, very upset about what happened. We spoke. He explained things to me, things you need to hear."

"So why don't you tell me?"

"Because you need to hear it from him. And he needs to explain it to you in his own words."

Draco sighed and eased down to sit on the wide windowsill. "What if it doesn't help? What if what he says only makes things worse?"

"You will not know until you hear it. But you need to hear it, Draco. Do not let the love you share for each other be destroyed because of something that happened in the past."

"I love him. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want it all to go away."

"I understand. I truly do."

"Albus. The other boy is here. He is waiting in your office."

Dumbledore nodded to the portrait and stood from his chair. "Wait here, Draco. I will send Harry up in a moment."

"I don't want to see him."

"Yes. You do." Dumbledore left the sitting room and close the door behind him. He left the portrait watching over the boy again and walked down the stairs into his office to face the one scratching the head of his Phoenix. "Fawkes likes you."

Harry turned at Dumbledore's voice and let his hand fall away from the bird. "Is he okay?"

"As well as can be expected. Have you thought of how to talk to him?"

Harry looked down at his feet and shifted his weight. "Not really. I know what I want to say. Just not exactly how to say it."

"That is enough. Go upstairs. He is waiting for you. Though I wouldn't expect a warm reception. He is still very upset."

Harry moved toward the stairs and stopped with his hand on the railing. "Thank you, Professor."

"You are welcome, Harry. I only ask that if the two of you wish to do something other then talk you remember to clean up after yourselves."

Harry blushed. "Professor, I don't think your sitting room would be an appropriate place for that."

Dumbledore shrugged and leaned back into his office chair, straightening out a stack of papers he was getting ready to work on. "Love is a beautiful thing, Harry. But there are very few places in this school where you can safely express your feelings. This is one of them. The room where the two of you have been meeting is another. The fact that you are from separate houses will make meeting in a safe place rather difficult. I am giving you permission to use my sitting room today if you should feel the urge to do so."

Harry's blush had been growing deeper as Dumbledore talked. He swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay. Thank you." He turned and continued up the stairs. Stopping in front of the closed door, he took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

Draco didn't turn when he heard the door open. He sat in the same stop in the windowsill where he had been sitting when Dumbledore left. His heart was racing. He didn't want to have the conversation that he knew was coming. But he also knew that Dumbledore was right. Nothing would change unless he heard what Harry had to say.

Harry stopped when he was beside the big chair facing the windows. Draco was hunched in on himself and looked a lot smaller then Harry was used to seeing him. Harry noticed for the first time that the other boy had lost some weight. He had always been thin. But right now he was so thin that Harry could see the shape of his ribs through the tight white undershirt he had on. Other then his usual black pants, it was all the boy was wearing. He was even barefoot.

"Are you going to just stand there and stare at me?" Draco turned his head and looked at Harry. He looked like he hadn't slept all night. There were dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were rumpled, like he had slept in them and hadn't bothered to change his clothes that morning.

"I want to apologize. I shouldn't have said what I said. I honestly thought you had been with someone else too."

"Well I haven't." He turned to look back out the window. "I don't want anyone else."

"Neither do I, Draco." Harry's voice was quiet as he spoke. He turned and sat in the big chair and let his head drop into his hands. "They were a mistake. I went through a very difficult time last year. I thought I needed something that they could give me. But I didn't want them. I was searching for something. I realize now that what I was doing was trying to force myself to stop feeling what I feel for you. I never could have imagined that you would feel for me what I felt for you. I dreamed about it, of course. I still do. All the time. I dream about what it would be like to feel your body against mine." Harry looked up again to see Draco had wrapped his arms around himself. "They didn't mean anything. I don't like girls that way."

Draco's head shot up and he turned tear filled eyes to Harry. "Girls?"

"Yes, girls. Three of them. I had both boys and girls offer themselves to me. I couldn't be with another guy if it wasn't you. I went through a time where my attraction to you was eating me alive. All of my friends were going out with girls, and I didn't want a girl. I wanted you. And I didn't want to be anymore different then I already am. Being gay makes me different in a way I didn't want. It scared me. So I slept with them. I was trying to change myself. It didn't work, Draco. I couldn't even get hard without thinking about you. I couldn't touch them unless it was you I was thinking about. After the third one, I gave up trying to change myself. It just wasn't working. Nothing I did could make me stop thinking about you."

"I want you to be my first, Harry. My first everything. I have for a long time. And I wanted to be the same for you."

Harry stood and moved to the window. He took Draco's hands in his. "I love you, Draco. I want to you be my first everything, too."

"It's to late for that."

"How? Because I had sex with a couple girls? I have never loved anyone but you. I have never let another guy touch me. I barely even let those girls touch me because I didn't like their hands on me. Sex isn't all that I want, Draco. I want everything that comes with being in a relationship with someone you are in love with. I want the time spent just being together. I want to be able to go to you when I'm stressed and be able to hold you and know that everything will be okay because I have you. Please," Harry raised Draco's hands to his face and pressed his lips against them. "Please don't tell me you don't want me anymore because I'm not a virgin. If I could go back I would change what I did. But I cant."

"I do want you. So much. It just hurts, Harry. The fact that they were girls helps make it a little easier to handle." He felt tears filling his eyes again and leaned forward so that his face rested against their entwined hands. "I wanted to badly so be the first one whose hands touched you."

"Yours will be the first hands that have touched me and felt good. Yours are the first hands I want to touch me." Harry turned over one of Draco's hands and laid his lips against his palm. "I love you. I want these hands to touch every part of me. And I want to touch every part of you. With my hands," He slid his arms around Draco's waist and pulled him against him. "With my lips." He brushed his lips along Draco's jaw. "With my tongue." He whispered the words against Draco's ear before he ran his tongue up his neck.

Draco moaned at the contact. He put his arms around Harry's shoulders and leaned against him. "I want that. I want it all." Draco moaned again as Harry started to suck on his neck. He swallowed and pulled back, taking Harry's face in his hands and looking into his eyes. "I don't want to hide anymore, Harry. I don't want to pretend to be this awful person anymore."

"You don't have to be. I'll help you if you will let me."

"How can you help me? If I stop acting the way I do, my friends will think something is wrong with me. If I tell them the truth, they are likely to beat the shit out of me one night while I'm laying in bed. And on top of it all, my father will find out."

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco when panic filled his eyes. "We will figure something out."

"I don't want to be an awful person anymore. But I cant be anything else or my life will be over. My father would rather see me dead then have a son he sees as tainted and weak."

"Draco, this isn't a problem we can fix right now. You aren't a bad person, no matter what you say or do. I know it. Dumbledore knows it."

"I don't like hurting people, Harry."

Harry took Draco's hand and pulled him over to the couch. He sat down and pulled Draco to sit with his back against him so he could wrap him in his arms. "Okay. Lets think about this. You don't want to say the things you do anymore because you don't want to hurt anyone. But if you don't say them, your friends will hate you and your father will find out and he will hurt you."

"Yes." He relaxed back into Harry's arms, his head back on his shoulder, and let his voice sooth him.

"The people you say those things to the most are Ron, Hermione, and myself. I trust my friends with my life, Draco. If you let me tell them about us, and about the real you, they will want to help. You can continue to act the way you do and turn your hostility on us. I know you don't mean those things, and if Ron and Hermione are let in on our secret, they will know too. And they will help me keep you safe."

"I don't expect you to hide anything from them. But I don't want to say those things anymore, Harry."

"You have a choice, Draco. You can say those things to us, people who know you don't mean them, know how you feel about saying them, and who know you are saying them because if you don't something awful will happen to you. Or you can stop, and let those awful things happen."

"How about neither? How about I just run away and then I wont have to deal with any of this anymore?"

"And then what would you do? Where would you live? How would you make money? If you don't finish your schooling, you couldn't do magic. You would have to live among the muggles. Work a muggle job."

"Okay. You can stop. I know nothing about muggles. I would never be able to live and work with them."

"Then you have two choices." Harry kissed Draco's ear and brushed his lips down the other boys neck.

"Mmm. I cant think with you doing that." Draco lifted a hand and ran his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Then stop thinking." Harry rolled out from under Draco until he was laying on top of him. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a breath stealing kiss.

Draco moaned softly and opened his legs so Harry's body could fit into his. He wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders as his hands traveled down his sides until his fingers could find their way under his shirt. Gasping, Draco arched his back as Harry's hands ran up the bare skin of his body to pull his shirt off over his head.

As the shirt was tossed to the floor, Harry bent his head and started to kiss his way down Draco's body. He was even thinner then he had though. But he didn't care. He was finally touching him. He finally had the love of his life under him. Harry licked one of Draco's nipples and he moaned loudly. Harry felt his body respond to the sounds Draco was making. He was getting hard and he could feel Draco's body responding the same way under his.

Harry licked his way down Draco's stomach and he suddenly couldn't do it anymore. "Stop." Draco pushed at Harry's shoulders, trying to make him stop. "Harry, please, stop."

Harry looked up at Draco and frowned. "Why do you want me to stop?"

Draco swallowed hard and shifted, trying to relieve the ache in his groin caused by his pants cutting into him. "We cant do this here."

"It's okay. Dumbledore said we could use the room as long as we clean up after ourselves." He bent back down to continue only to have Draco roll out from under him and stand up. He had his hands held in front of him to hide his arousal. "What's wrong?"

"I cant do this here. I don't care if Dumbledore said we could. I cant do this here." His face flushed a bright red and he turned his back on Harry, picking up his shirt and pulling it back over his head.

Harry sat up and tried to make his body calm down. "Is that all this is? You don't want to have sex here? Or is there something else?"

Draco looked back at Harry and he could see a sudden flash of anger in those blue eyes. "I don't want my first time to be in Dumbledore's sitting room. And I don't want it to just be sex, Harry. I want you to make love to me. I want it to be special. Not simply as a way to make me feel better because I'm upset."

"That isn't what this is. I love you, Draco. And I want to touch you. But if you don't want it here, we can wait and do it somewhere else."

"You don't get it, do you?" Draco walked back to the window and wrapped his arms around himself. "I want it to be special, Harry."

"Any time I spend with you is special. It felt incredible to finally touch you. Did it not feel good for you?"

"Of course it did." He took a deep breath and stared out at the dark forest. "I don't think I'm ready. I love you. And I want you so badly my body aches. But I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

Harry smiled and walked over to the other boy. He wrapped his arms around Draco and set his chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I should have asked first. We can wait. If that is what you want."

Draco turned and looked into Harry's eyes. "You aren't angry?"

"Why would I be angry? I said I love you, and I mean it. If all I wanted from you was sex, I wouldn't be in love with you. I'll wait until you are ready."

Draco sighed in relief and leaned against Harry again. "Will you still meet with me alone a couple times a week?"

"I wouldn't miss it." Harry kissed Draco softly and held him as they just stood and spent time looking out at the beautiful view.


	9. Chapter 9

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

* * *

Draco stood in the bleachers on the shore of the lake and chewed on the inside of his cheek. His fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands and he could feel blood dripping from between his fingers. He had been in the water for to long. For far to long. His hour was over but still he hadn't come up. The other three champions were sitting on the shore, along with all four of the captives. Ron and the little blonde girl had just surfaced and been pulled ashore. But where was he?

Draco was shaking so badly he was surprised his friends who were all standing around him hadn't noticed yet. His heart give a painful lurch when he finally surfaced. He lost control of himself momentarily and felt a tear of relief slide down his cheek. He wiped it off quickly and ran his hands through his hair. No one had noticed. He turned away from the scene on the shore of the lake. He couldn't watch anymore.

Pushing his way past Crabbe and Goyle, Draco left the stands and started walking back to the castle. He was breathing very fast and his heart was pounding so hard it was painful. He needed to get away from it all before he passed out.

"Hey, Draco. Where you going?" Goyle jogged up along Draco's right and Crabbe on his left. They both watched him expectantly as he made his way up the path.

"Disappointed Potter didn't drown. No point being here anymore." The two snickered and one of them clapped him on the back. "You two stay. Tell me later what the scores were."

"Yeah, okay." The two boys dropped back and returned to the stands.

Draco took a deep breath, keeping his back straight as he continued to walk. He didn't stop until he reached the sitting room in the castle. After closing the door he moved across the room and dropped onto the couch. He let his head fall into his hands and let go of the reins he kept on his emotions.

Harry wormed his way through the crowd of people in the Gryffindor common room until he found Hermione. He pulled her aside and bent low to whisper into her ear. "I need to get out of here."

The girl nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. "I know. But you aren't going to get out of here anytime soon."

"I need you to go to him." When the girl gave him a questioning look, he gave her a pleading one. "Please. He will hurt himself, Hermione."

She frowned but nodded her head. "Okay. Fine. Where is he?"

Harry told her where the sitting room was and he watched as she spun on her heel and quickly made her way to the portrait hole. Harry turned back to the crowd as someone called his name and went on pretending he was having a good time.

Hermione slipped into the sitting room and closed the door behind her before anyone could see her. But the corridor was currently empty so she wasn't over worried about it. She turned to look around the room and was surprised to find it empty. A flash of worry went through her. With what Harry had told her and Ron, Draco was likely to be off somewhere hurting himself if he wasn't in this room waiting for him.

As she turned to go, she thought she heard a noise. She moved closer to the fireplace and saw Draco sitting in the corner of the room with his knees pulled to his chest. He looked up when she knelt in front of him and her heart clenched at the sight of him. His face was streaked with tears and blood.

"Draco. What did you do to yourself?" She reached out for him and he drew back sharply.

"Don't."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Draco. But your bleeding."

The boy frowned. "I am?" He raised a hand to his face and Hermione grabbed his wrist. He looked up at her. "Where am I bleeding?"

"What did you do to your hand?" Hermione pulled his hand to where she could see it in the firelight. His palm was ripped open in four long bloody lines. "Did you do this with your nails?"

Draco's eyes swam with fresh tears and he pulled his hand back, tucking it against his stomach. "Not on purpose. I didn't do it on purpose. I swear I didn't."

"Okay. Okay. I believe you. Calm down." She suddenly felt something like panic well in herself. This was not the Draco she knew. Harry had told her about who the boy really was, but she wasn't sure she believed it until now. "Come on. Come sit on the couch. I'll do something with your hands so Harry doesn't see them, okay?"

Draco looked up at her and she could see the pleading and the fear in his eyes. "Is he okay? Was he hurt?"

"Harry is fine. He wasn't hurt." She took his arm and pulled him to his feet.

"You wont tell him? About my hands?" He sat when she turned him and pushed him to sit on the couch.

"No. But you should. Hiding things isn't healthy. Stay right there." She went to the small bathroom that was off the sitting room and ran cool water over a hand towel. When she returned, Draco was staring at is hands.

"I didn't realize how badly I cut them."

"It took him longer then it should have to come back up." Hermione took the boys hands and began to clean them gently. "I'm not good enough to heal this completely, you will need to go to Madam Pomfrey for that. But I can close them so they stop bleeding." She took out her wand and did just that. Then she washed the blood from his face before returning the towel from the bathroom. She stood on the other side of the table from Draco, who was now sitting with his knees drawn to his chest, staring at the fire. "Harry asked me to come and make sure you were okay. To tell you that he's fine and he will be here as soon as he can. There's a party in our common room right now and he cant get away."

Draco nodded and continued to stare at the fire. "Do you know when he will be here?"

"No. Sorry. I'll try to find a way for him to slip away. I know he really wants to be here. If the party lasts much longer I'll drop a dung bomb or something to clear the room out."

Draco nodded again and Hermione turned to go. "I want to apologize to you, Hermione."

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and looked over her shoulder. "What for?"

"For all of the horrible things I have said to you. I don't mean any of them. I think you are a brilliant witch. The fact that your parents are muggles means nothing to me. I don't enjoy saying the things I do." He turned his face away from her and laid his cheek against his knees.

"Harry told me. But I appreciate hearing it from you. I accept your apology. And Harry is right, Draco. I know you don't mean the words you say. So they don't bother me anymore. Harry loves you. So that means I want to see you safe as well." When the boys shoulders started to shake again from crying, she opened the door and left him alone.

Finally, was all he could think as he made his way through the dark, deserted corridors. He pulled opened the door to the sitting room and locked it behind him. Draco looked up at him as he moved across the room and was in his arms a second later, having leapt from the couch.

Harry gently stroked Draco's back as he clung to him, his body shaking. "I'm okay. I'm here."

Draco laughed softly and pulled back enough to wipe his face. "I was so scared. You took so long to come back up." He looked down at his hands. "I cut up my hands with my nails. I didn't even realize I did it until Hermione pointed it out." He sighed and laid his head against Harry's shoulders. "Thank you for sending her. She helped calm me down. I would have gone mad by now if you hadn't."

"That's why I send her." He took Draco's face in his hands and kissed him softly. "Are you okay?"

"I am now." Draco leaned in and pressed his lips to Harry's. When hands roamed down his back he moaned softly and pressed his body harder against the other boys. His body stiffened instantly when Harry's hands gripped his ass and pulled him even closer.

Harry pulled his lips away from Draco's mouth and pressed them to his neck. "I love you. So much. I was so worried about you. I didn't want to be in that party."

"Stop talking." Draco pulled Harry's mouth back to his. In a quick movement, he pulled Harry's shirt out of his pants and ran his hands up his bare back.

Harry shivered at the unexpected touch. Draco had never touched him this much before. Ever since that evening in Dumbledore's sitting room, he had been careful about how much he touched the other boy.

"Harry." Draco skimmed his nails down Harry's back as he pressed his lips to his ear. "Make love to me."


End file.
